Are you an Asian American princess? 

These are the first signs:

• Everyone thinks you’re at least five years younger than you really are.
• You can play the piano, violin, cello or some other stringed instrument that is not a guitar.
• If you got an A in a class, your parents wondered why you didn’t get an A+.
• You know the cheapest place to buy a Coach bag.
• You had a double major in college because your parents didn’t approve of the first one.  Examples:
  • Art & Accounting
  • Dance & Dentistry
  • Literature & Law
  • Music & Microbiology*
    * Unless you went to Julliard, and then you are in a string quartet with your three sisters.

  

  Five More Signs of an Asian American Princess

• You’re 5′2″ but you tell people you’re 5′5″ because you live in high heels anyway.
• Your IQ is higher than your weight. (At least it used to be, until you started eating a pint of Ben & Jerry’s every night.)
• You used to think your parents were so FOB when they ate kimchee or daikon with their pizza, but now you see white people flocking to overpriced fusion restaurants that serve the same kind of thing.
• You have been to Hawaii at least three times.  (Double points if you went there for a wedding.)
• You think halter neck tops are cute, but you can’t wear your padded bra underneath.

Yet Another Five More Signs of an Asian American Princess

• You know some choice Asian swear words.  Examples:
  • Lo De - Asshole in Vietnamese
  • Dong Muk-uh - Eat Sh*t in Korean
  • Dew Nay Low Mao - Mother F*cker in Cantonese
  • Futota Kuso - Fat Sh*t in Japanese



• You’re dating a white guy, but you wish you were with John Cho.
• You make sure your white boyfriend knows the difference between Asian and Asian American.
• When someone asks if you can speak English, you answer, “I have a Ph.D. in Shakespeare, you dumb fuck.”
• When someone standing on a street corner asks if you can stop to take a survey, you answer, “No speaka Engrish.”

If you answered yes to 5 or more of these, congratulations, you are officially an Asian American princess!

8 Responses to “The Signs of an Asian American Princess”

1. MiYon says:

   June 7, 2009 at 11:28 am

   You are hilarious, Soyon! I was seriously laughing out loud!

   # When someone asks if you can speak English, you answer, “I have a Ph.D. in Shakespeare, you dumb fuck.”
   # When someone standing on a street corner asks if you can stop to take a survey, you answer, “No speaka Engrish.”

   haha!
2. Ivy says:

   June 8, 2009 at 8:58 pm

   HILARIOUS.
   I got 11 out of 15.
   that means I’m an AAPrincess too!
3. Lyg says:

   June 9, 2009 at 7:42 am

   LOL… nice!!! =)
4. Lore says:

   June 10, 2009 at 1:04 pm

   ugh, i love john cho. and secretly have a thing for Japanese men…
5. Lindsey says:

   June 25, 2009 at 3:39 am

   Hahaha, literature + law. That’s totally me! I only got 7 though.
6. Linni says:

   August 28, 2009 at 2:36 pm

   hahaha youre hilarious
7. MaSir says:

   February 16, 2010 at 1:30 pm

   Hilarious. I love the “Parents-approved instruments for Asian-American princesses.” Btw, when I was growing up, this wasn’t exclusive to AA girls. I wanted to play trombone, trumpet and drums really badly. And guess what I ended up having to play?

   If you guessed piano and violin you are the lucky winner.
8. Linkage says:

   March 27, 2010 at 11:29 pm

   [...] The Signs of an Asian American Princess.  Too bad it’s not being updated any longer. [...]