Kimchi Forever
When I was growing up, my family would eat pizza on Sundays after church. A few minutes after we’d received the body of Christ shrunk to the size of a coin, we’d drive to our favorite pizzeria and get a hot pie with extra tomato sauce.
My brother and I loved the chewy crust, the bubbly cheese, the slices of pepperoni. It was greasy, salty heaven, and the cheese was hot enough to burn the roof of my mouth. I didn’t want to think about what it was doing to the little bit of Jesus that was inside of me.
As we were gorging ourselves and falling into food coma, inevitably, my mother would stop and say, “Hmm, wish I had a little kimchi.” My brother and I’d look at each other and roll our eyes. Our mother was such a FOB. Such an incurable FOB. She had to have kimchi with everything. Spaghetti? Kimchi goes with that. A grilled cheese sandwich? Put kimchi in the middle. Pancakes? With kimchi on top, pretty please; hold the maple syrup.
Years later, I would see people flocking to fusion restaurants, where they’d pay up to a day’s wages for a tiny dinner. The restaurants are often celebrated with four-star reviews. Many of these places are run by Asian chefs who’ve combined their European training with their mama’s cooking. Or by Caucasian chefs who recognize the fact that Asians are not a “minority.”
You know what the key ingredient is in many of these places? Kimchi! At one restaurant in Seattle, you can get a mac and cheese with a side of pickled radish. In New York, you can have kimchi with your foie gras.
The coolest innovator of all, of course, is Roy Choi, the taco truck guy in L.A. who serves kimchi with quesadillas and Twittered his way to fame. And only charges seven bucks. (We thrifty Asian American princesses like that.) The Korean taco seems to be a growing phenomenon, as evidenced by Koi Fusion, which started in Portland a few months ago. The guy behind Koi Fusion realizes that the demographics of Portland isn’t exactly that of L.A., still he’s determined to bring the taste of Korea—and kimchi—to the masses. Who would have guessed that my fobby mother had been a trendsetter all along?
food
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Asian-American princess, FOB, Joule, Kimchee, Kimchi, Kogi, Koifusion, Korean fusion, Korean Tacos, Korean-American, Momofuku
pizza looks Delicious!
Kimchiiiiii. Years ago, people didn’t even know it was, it seems. Or if they’d heard of it but never actually tasted, they’d wrinkle their noses in disgust. I found it very easily when I lived in Sioux Falls, SD (who’d of thunk?). There was even a Korean market there. Now we’re in southern TX and the only place I can buy it is in a Walmart in Port Isabel, near the coast. You have my mouth watering now!
Very funny article!
“I didn’t want to think about what it was doing to the little bit of Jesus that was inside of me.”
hahahaha
Kimchi! I never had the traditional kind just because I’m a picky eater…lol. I have had the cucumber kind and I thought it was okay. I got my first exposure to it while I was in Korea. I like South Korea!
Personal opinion: Kimchi tastes like rat shit. Koreans tell me it’s an acquired taste. Yeah, an acquired taste… kind of like Elephant vomit.
That aside…
I wanted to ask. In this blog, you reference “Caucasian chefs who recognize the fact that Asians are not a “minority.”” Or, you could also say, “Caucasian chefs who consciously got a job in an Asian kitchen because they’re SAD’s and they wanna hit on the waitresses.” I mean, just saying.
It seems like you take a lot of pride in your culture. So why then, would you want to date a guy who knows NOTHING about it? …and moreover, isn’t really attracted to Asian women? Sounds like a pretty shitty life to me.
I mean, some guys can hide it more than others, but if you’re an Asian girl dating a white guy, you’re dating a guy who likes Asian girls. 2 + 2 = 4.
I just think it’s selfish that you can take so much pride in your culture and talk about what it’s like being an “Asian Princess” or whatever, but if I know how to say “Anyonghaseyo,” that makes me a creep.
I mean, seriously. Some people drop $30,000 and 4 years of their life to major in something retarded like 14th Century French Poetry. …Yet, if I happen to know that “NRT” is the airport code for Narita, I’M a creep.
wait wait wait… I’m sorry… Asians aren’t a minority??? When the hell did that happen?
Minority - the smaller part or number; a number, part, or amount forming less than half of the whole.
Based on the Random House Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2010.
Are Asians more than 50% of the population??? Because if they are, then it’s just statistically likely that ANYONE’S next girlfriend will be Asian. So, either Asians ARE a minority, or the SAD thing loses all its meaning. Either way, you’re full of shit.